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6 posts tagged BBC
Mark Thompson bitches out to The Daily Mail readers
“We need to look the future, we need to think about how people will be using the BBC in 2013, 2014.”
Oh right so that’s why you’re closing two digital radio stations and halfing the outpout of the BBC website? Because websites and digital radio — they’re not the future? Nah, Mark’s betting that newspapers and analogue radio are about to make a real comeback.
Bollocks.
Mark Thompson has capitulated in the most spectacular fashion today, personally confirming that he hoped to close 6 Music and the Asian Network.
The money saved will go to creating higher quality programming, apparently. So, clever Mark’s solution for producing better content, is to cut one of the few BBC organs that actually makes good content?
Oddly, I’m behind cutting the BBC’s teenage services, Switch and Blast — that have done sweet FA to help a single teenager outside greater London.
Mark Thompson must have nuts the size of apple pips. He’s so comnsumately bitched out to commercial and political pressure that it makes all Greg Dykes’ good work look like it was in vain.
Ever since the Brand, Ross fiasco the BBC has been sliding gradually into that Daily Mail-esque manner of selective reporting and sensationalism.
Here are a list of places your cuts might be better spent:
1.THE FORMULA ONE RIGHTS — who fucking gives a shit.
2. The massive management salaries.
3. The massive management teams.
4. BBC 3.
5. Radio 1.
6. BBC Persia
7. BBC News 24 — no one needs that much news.
8. Cutting any show that involes antiques.
Call me crrraaazy. But axing 6 Music and cutting back on the BBC website seem like two of the last things the Beeb should be doing. Clearly cut-backs need to be made, (what with the recession and shit-stains like Dan Hannan not paying his TV License) but there is no way whole services need to go.
Though frankly I think the BBC Asian network was a misconcieved idea from the outset; if the BBC isn’t producing content that appeals to the British Asian community within its mainstream broadcasts then surely it’s doing something wrong. Or British Asians are being intentionally resistive — though I doubt this is the case. The problem is the BBC Asian network is a good operation, producing excellent shows — as opposed to axing it why don’t te beeb consider selling it?
The BBC website, for all its many faults, is still an excellent resource — and one of the few places on the web one can find, at least vaguely objective news. And 6 Music is, in my opinion, what Radio 1 should sound like. If they really wanted to save money they should axe Radio 1 and rebadge 6 Music as Radio 1.
Have you listened to Radio 1 recently? For an organisation that has the words British and Broadcasting in its name — it doesn’t half peddle a lot of autotuned American crap. And it’s not like they need to. The BBC are one of the few people who don’t need to pander to the American market.
The only good news to come out of this review, aimed squarely at the ‘what the fuck are we going to do if the cunting Murdoch noshing Tories get in?’ scenario, is that every news piece is going to contain a hyperlink to funnel more traffic to commercial rivals. Though I’m willing to bet their partners list will be more heavily guarded than a nun’s chuff. Still, it’s a minor concession in the right direction.
How about the beeb consider cuts in their off-shore operations? BBC Persia for example? Or how about slicing those proposterous managment sallaries.
But no, as per with the beeb the management will be maintained in glorious isolation while the talent and the output suffer the pains of cut-backs.
Murdoch Threatens To Sue The BBC
Seemingly the aging media tyrant thinks that the BBC is stealing content from his newspapers.
“And anyway,” said the angry old coot, “if you look at them, most of their stuff is stolen from the newspapers now, and we’ll be suing them for copyright,
“They will have to spend a lot more money on a lot more reporters to cover the world when they can’t steal from newspapers.”
Hate to break it to you Rupert, me old china, but everyone steals content - even your brilliant newspapers.
The newswires; Reuters, AP, they are, if we’re really honest, where the majority of news comes from. Be it news in your papers or on the BBC. The difference is, the BBC will report it without bias or prejudice - just the facts, whereas, Newcorp’s newspapers will apply whatever spin best suits that particular paper’s political allegiances.
Par example: This ridiculous Gordon Brown letter debacle. The Sun goads a poor grieving mother into a rant and then covers it as: What A Disgrace: Gordon Brown can’t even be arsed to spell properly in handwritten letter to the mother of a dead solider. What an uncaring loathable bastard!
When in reality he hadn’t spelt the soldiers name wrong, it was just his poor handwriting - because, he does only have on eye and other only operates at about 30%.
And, in my humble opinion, I think for our Prime Minister to take time out of his day, you know - running the country, to send a hand-written letter shows that actually he genuinely appreciates the sacrifice made. It’s not like anyone knew beforehand that he did it. It wasn’t a contrived publicity stunt gone wrong - he sends a hand written letter to the family of every dead solider.
To me that seems an incredibly decent thing to do. And if that’s the kind of thing that you call “news” Mr Murdoch, quite frankly you can shove it up your saggy aging Australian arsehole.
Lax BBC headlines
Dead girl met man on Internet - How? If she was dead? Surely the real story is about the girl who could use the Internet despite being dead.
Ramsay unveils cosmetic procedure - He’s invented his own form of cosmetic surgery? Do this man’s talents know no bounds
NASA rocket postponed by weather - What is the rocket doing? Launching? NASA launch postponed by weather - make 100 times more sense.
This is from one day. Standards are slipping at the BBC.
Radio 1 shoots itself in the foot, cuts its own eyeball, jumps in a sewer and bathes in SHIT.
Fearne Cotton is taking over from Jo Whiley
This is like waking up one morning and finding out that your lovely pet cat has been replaced by Pol Pot. If Pol Pot was the most annoying radio personality since, erm, no sorry: There has never been anyone in broadcasting history as repellently annoying as Fearne Cotton.
And replacing Jo Whiley. Granted, she too has her own ball-twistingly cringeworthy moments. I’m thinking Changing Tracks:
“Jo my pet parrot died in car crash, he was my best friend and I taught him all the words to this song, and we used to sing it while I painted him.”
‘This is for Paul in Dunfrice, its Snow Patrol with Light Up’.
But she was nice and generally perfectly tolerable, funny, clever, and she liked music.
Whereas Fearne Cotton affects a disgusting chirpiness that makes everything she says sounds like: “throttle me, throttle me,” “feed me medium strength sedatives and hide me a broom closet”.
I’d even have preferred Nihal. And I loathe Nihal. He’s dull, but he’s no idiot.
Driving home from Glastonbury last year in the morning sun was one of most joyous moments of my entire life. Drifting along the winding country lanes listening to the radio play highlights of the festival which we’d been at seemed like a perfect way to end the weekend. Until Fearne Cotton popped up:
“Whats your rap name everyone? Basically take your pet’s name and the first part of the first rap album you ever bought, mine’s Jay-Fuzz, hahahahahahahahahhahahaha” she literally laughed for 3 minutes “hahahahahahahahah send in yours.” (Mine would be KRS-Ian - that’s not funny though is it Cotton? It’s. Not. Funny. At. All.)
In two hours she played 4 songs. She almost ruined the whole weekend. Why didn’t you just change the station? I hear you bleat. Well, in my old car it wasn’t that simple, once you turned the engine on the radio came on automatically, and you had to hit the button for the station you wanted before the radio tuned or it was stuck. So, when we finally ground to a halt on the M5, we could finally bid farewell to the cretin Cotton.
Never had I been so happy to see a traffic jam.
We changed to Radio Somerset who’s phone-in for the day was: Do blue whales know how big they are?
Answers consisted:
“They must do, because they’ve got eyes, and they must know how big they are in relation to their eyes so they must do.”
And.
“I don’t think so because I’ve heard there really stupid.”
And one woman who just said.
“They must do.”“But why Joan” “They just must do, they must do, surely they must do.”“Cheers Joan.”
Since when was it a requirement that you have to have been on TV to be a radio presenter? Do you know should have got the late morning slot - Greg James.
I’ve never seen his face and I never want to.
