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5 posts tagged News
Punishing aspiration — The Browne anomaly
Punishing aspiration. We’ve all heard that a lot recently right? Ever since the Lib-Con government spliced its way into power it seems to have been somewhat of a mantra for the coalition.
Critics have called it a way for the Tories to prevent the rich and the super-rich bearing their share of the hit in bringing down the deficit.
Everything is seemingly punishing aspiration — putting up income tax on the super rich, taxing bonuses, making businesses pay more.
And it would seem today those same critics’ argument might have been given some firmer grounding than the purely circumstantial evidence yielded during George Osborne’s emergency budget eg… the VAT rise — our most potent remaining flat tax.
Ryan Giggs
Right, I know I’ve posted this video before, but I’ve just watched Sports Personality again on iPlayer and there isn’t really a substanial enough Ryan Giggs montage. And I wanted one.
Best United player ever? Yes. Best player ever? Definitely.
The British Rail Network
Trains. In terms of our modern technological achievements they are as
about as complex as flip flops. Big lumbering engines pulling big
lumbering coaches along hard unyielding metal tracks.
They’ve been around for years - and they are, for most young people
the means of transport they use most often to travel the length and
bredth of this fine little isle. That is why it is so emintely
perplexing that we’ve never seemed to be able to get the trains right.
As I write this I am sat on the 7.20 from London Euston to Manchester
Piccadilly. Only I wanted to be on the 7.02 train. But arriving at
Euston I was confronted by a queue at the ticket office so vast and
snaking that I was advised it would take at least 30 minutes and that
I was best off using the automatic machines, of which there are dozens.
I’ve used these machines a bajillion times before usually relatively
painlessly - tonight that was to change. The first one wouldn’t take my
card, the second would only accept the exact change, the third, and
this was the kicker, couldn’t even find my destination! Finally I get
one that works, it prints out my tickets - but there’s nothing on
them, not a scratch of ink. I go to the information desk.
“Am sorry sir I cannot reissue you a ticket.”
“Well look, i’ve just bought a ticket from one of your machines and
there’s nothing on it. I won’t be able to travel with a blank ticket,
will I?”
“Da macheena did not preent anyting on yo’owa teekat?”
“No.”
“Dat’s impossible.”
“If it’s impossible how have I got these blank tickets?”
“You must have taken them from de teekat desk.”
“Sorry - so not only are you not going to give me another ticket, but
you’re accusing me of stealing blank tickets too?”
“Sir dat is dee only way you could have got dese blank tickets.”
By this point she’s holding my £66 blank tickets.
“Can I speak to your manager please.”
“I am dee supervisor.”
“Well can I speak to your supervisor please.”
“…no, I am calling security.”
“Why?”
“Because you have stolen dese blank teekats from dee teekat desk.”
At this point a man in his 70s appears behind me.
“Excuse me, I’m awfully sorry I just bought a ticket from the ticket
machine and it’s not printed anything on it.”
My saviour - I think - I can finally get this fucking mess sorted.
“Dat is impossible Sir.”
I can’t believe my ears.
“Please,” I ask “get me your manager immediately.”
After humphing and pumphing for a bit a manager is finally uncovered.
“Oh yeah no problems, we’ve been having problems with that machine all
day.” And prints two tickets.
I want to stay I want to argue and shout, but I’m so pathetically
grateful I just say thanks and then looking at my watch, seeing that
it’s 6.58 think ‘brilliant I’m going to make it’.
Like a man mad I dive through the station to the platform only to be
told that the platform door shuts three minutes before the train sets
off. I’m pleading again, just let me through, I can get on, I’ve got a
ticket, it’ll take two seconds - please.
“No.”
Here’s what I want to know: What kind of spiteful, vindictive train
operator would prevent you from getting on a train, if you’re in time
and have a valid ticket?
It’s beauractic shit like this that causes killing sprees.
I just don’t get it. I don’t.
Here’s my top 5 things wrong with British Train:
1. The price: £66 for a return from London to Manchester is
preposterous.
2. The trains - dank old, over hot, uncomfy shit-wagons.
3. The emty first class carriages on every Virgin train.
4. The prices in train station shops.
5. How reliable they are. If they’re not striking they’re late if
they’re not late they’re cancelled, if they’re not cancelled they’re
full to the fixings with stinking football hooligans.
The trains. Bollocks.
Murdoch Threatens To Sue The BBC
Seemingly the aging media tyrant thinks that the BBC is stealing content from his newspapers.
“And anyway,” said the angry old coot, “if you look at them, most of their stuff is stolen from the newspapers now, and we’ll be suing them for copyright,
“They will have to spend a lot more money on a lot more reporters to cover the world when they can’t steal from newspapers.”
Hate to break it to you Rupert, me old china, but everyone steals content - even your brilliant newspapers.
The newswires; Reuters, AP, they are, if we’re really honest, where the majority of news comes from. Be it news in your papers or on the BBC. The difference is, the BBC will report it without bias or prejudice - just the facts, whereas, Newcorp’s newspapers will apply whatever spin best suits that particular paper’s political allegiances.
Par example: This ridiculous Gordon Brown letter debacle. The Sun goads a poor grieving mother into a rant and then covers it as: What A Disgrace: Gordon Brown can’t even be arsed to spell properly in handwritten letter to the mother of a dead solider. What an uncaring loathable bastard!
When in reality he hadn’t spelt the soldiers name wrong, it was just his poor handwriting - because, he does only have on eye and other only operates at about 30%.
And, in my humble opinion, I think for our Prime Minister to take time out of his day, you know - running the country, to send a hand-written letter shows that actually he genuinely appreciates the sacrifice made. It’s not like anyone knew beforehand that he did it. It wasn’t a contrived publicity stunt gone wrong - he sends a hand written letter to the family of every dead solider.
To me that seems an incredibly decent thing to do. And if that’s the kind of thing that you call “news” Mr Murdoch, quite frankly you can shove it up your saggy aging Australian arsehole.
Lax BBC headlines
Dead girl met man on Internet - How? If she was dead? Surely the real story is about the girl who could use the Internet despite being dead.
Ramsay unveils cosmetic procedure - He’s invented his own form of cosmetic surgery? Do this man’s talents know no bounds
NASA rocket postponed by weather - What is the rocket doing? Launching? NASA launch postponed by weather - make 100 times more sense.
This is from one day. Standards are slipping at the BBC.
