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1 post tagged Radio 1
Radio 1 shoots itself in the foot, cuts its own eyeball, jumps in a sewer and bathes in SHIT.
Fearne Cotton is taking over from Jo Whiley
This is like waking up one morning and finding out that your lovely pet cat has been replaced by Pol Pot. If Pol Pot was the most annoying radio personality since, erm, no sorry: There has never been anyone in broadcasting history as repellently annoying as Fearne Cotton.
And replacing Jo Whiley. Granted, she too has her own ball-twistingly cringeworthy moments. I’m thinking Changing Tracks:
“Jo my pet parrot died in car crash, he was my best friend and I taught him all the words to this song, and we used to sing it while I painted him.”
‘This is for Paul in Dunfrice, its Snow Patrol with Light Up’.
But she was nice and generally perfectly tolerable, funny, clever, and she liked music.
Whereas Fearne Cotton affects a disgusting chirpiness that makes everything she says sounds like: “throttle me, throttle me,” “feed me medium strength sedatives and hide me a broom closet”.
I’d even have preferred Nihal. And I loathe Nihal. He’s dull, but he’s no idiot.
Driving home from Glastonbury last year in the morning sun was one of most joyous moments of my entire life. Drifting along the winding country lanes listening to the radio play highlights of the festival which we’d been at seemed like a perfect way to end the weekend. Until Fearne Cotton popped up:
“Whats your rap name everyone? Basically take your pet’s name and the first part of the first rap album you ever bought, mine’s Jay-Fuzz, hahahahahahahahahhahahaha” she literally laughed for 3 minutes “hahahahahahahahah send in yours.” (Mine would be KRS-Ian - that’s not funny though is it Cotton? It’s. Not. Funny. At. All.)
In two hours she played 4 songs. She almost ruined the whole weekend. Why didn’t you just change the station? I hear you bleat. Well, in my old car it wasn’t that simple, once you turned the engine on the radio came on automatically, and you had to hit the button for the station you wanted before the radio tuned or it was stuck. So, when we finally ground to a halt on the M5, we could finally bid farewell to the cretin Cotton.
Never had I been so happy to see a traffic jam.
We changed to Radio Somerset who’s phone-in for the day was: Do blue whales know how big they are?
Answers consisted:
“They must do, because they’ve got eyes, and they must know how big they are in relation to their eyes so they must do.”
And.
“I don’t think so because I’ve heard there really stupid.”
And one woman who just said.
“They must do.”“But why Joan” “They just must do, they must do, surely they must do.”“Cheers Joan.”
Since when was it a requirement that you have to have been on TV to be a radio presenter? Do you know should have got the late morning slot - Greg James.
I’ve never seen his face and I never want to.
